


Hero Worship

by Minuete



Series: His and Her Angst [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s01e03 Squeeze, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minuete/pseuds/Minuete
Summary: A Mulder POV: What does Scully think of him? Set in Season 1.





	Hero Worship

**Author's Note:**

> Listening to Bucky F*cking Dent on Audible, and was inspired by a situation where the main character felt appalled that he wondered what the female character thought of him. I highly suggest you read/listen to the book. It is hilarious and poignant. Some quotes were taken from episode “Squeeze”.

_I wonder what she thinks of me?_ Mulder didn’t like how this thought suddenly popped up in his mind, as he stopped tossing the basketball up in the air while lying on his couch during the wee hours of the night. Why did he wonder? Did he even _care_ what she thought of him? He tried to run her off with the Bellevue case, but she merely shared a laugh in the pouring rain with him. Shared a laugh. Not laughed at. It was a pleasant feeling to not be ridiculed, to have someone believe in his “crazy” theory. Funny how the memory of the laughter came to the forefront, rather than the image of Scully revealing herself to him in practical undergarments. He felt relieved; believing himself immune to her physical attributes as he recalled from his eidetic memory the slight goosebumps that formed when her robe fell away, the curve of her hips under the candlelight, the small of her back, the vulnerable look in her eyes... Mulder shook his head to clear the images out of his mind, returned to safer waters. What _did_ she think of him?

Mulder seized the chance to ask Scully the very question the next day: “ _Do you think I’m Spooky?”_ He immediately felt mortified once the question came out of his mouth, but he kept up his lone wolf persona, locking his eyes on hers, challenging her to answer— dreading to hear the answer… Mulder saw Scully’s eyes slightly widen, and before she could reply, her ass hat friend walked into the office.

_“Dana, sorry I’m late.”_

_“We just got here. Fox Mulder, Tom Colton.”_

_Dana_. So familiar, though he was the one who established calling each other by last-name basis. Mulder immediately disliked the ass hat friend Colton, so he decided to fuck with the guy, educating him on gray reticulans. He could sense Scully’s amusement, it actually encouraged him to continue on with the sham, until he collected the fingerprint.

A “passing”, yet contentious, polygraph result and angry derision from fellow VCS agents who stormed out of the interrogation room summed up what a normal day was for Mulder when he was in the VCS unit. He half-expected Scully to hold him in contempt as he heard Ass Hat spewing out how she found him “insane” — no, that wasn’t what she said — she found him to be “out there”. He braced himself to watch her follow Ass Hat, but instead she stayed behind willingly, maintaining Team X-Files for now. He was teetering on a fine line between detachment and hope. He found the answer to his question through Scully’s actions, but she tentatively called him out: _“It seems like you were acting very territorial. I don’t know, forget it._ ” His caveman instinct wanted to say: “Of course, you’re mine now. We’re a team.” But Mulder refrained himself saying something along the lines of respecting the journey they’re embarking together.

Mulder saw the look of hero-worship in her eyes. Her expression a mixture of hero-worship and relief. “Thank you, Mulder, for saving my life,” she’d said. But he didn’t save her life; he merely assisted her with the arrest, created a distraction by breaking her front door. Mulder had no doubt of Scully’s capabilities as an agent. He told her so, but she shook her head and gave him a smile. That got him. He could handle contempt and jealousy. He could handle being a disappointment. He couldn’t handle being hero-worshipped. He was no hero. He would need to destroy this image from Scully’s mind soon.

 


End file.
